Olúwàtósìn

A few years back, my mom told me the story of a pastor.

His wife died in a herbalist’s house.

The reaction you have right now is the same reaction everyone else had when they had to go and pick up the corpse of a pastor’s wife from a herbalist’s house. What happened to the God they were serving? What happened to prayer and fasting? What happened to trusting God? What happened to holding on to God in spite of everything?

Anyway, his wife had been sick for a long time. He had prayed and fasted and done all he could, including various treatments. Other pastors had prayed too, but her health kept deteriorating. Out of desperation and the fear of losing her, he decided to go to a herbalist as a last resort. And very, very sadly, even that didn’t work.

His greatest fear still happened. His wife could not be saved and eventually died in the herbalist’s house.

This was a man who had taught on healing and deliverance, and had been greatly used by God. But when it was his wife involved, God was sadly no longer enough.

It’s very easy to judge him. After all, he was a pastor. He should have known better. But if you look carefully, there are probably times you have substituted God with other alternatives.

The thing about serving God is that he should be your all in all—your everything. No alternatives. Such that if you die holding on to this God, you die. And if you perish, you perish.

Just like Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego. They were all in. There was no alternative. Even death wasn’t enough to make them surrender.

The difference between them and this pastor was that his wife was a tier above God. He just didn’t want to lose her—no matter what.

Sometimes when I think about the story, I feel like the wife would have died anyway. But he wasn’t ready to let go. He wanted to try everything. Even outside God. Because God was not enough.

This story reminds me of King Ahaziah in the Bible. He fell and got injured, and his condition kept getting worse. But instead of consulting God, he went to Baal. And God sent a message to him:

"Is it because there is no God in Israel that you are going off to consult Baal-Zebub, the god of Ekron? Therefore this is what the Lord says: You will not leave the bed you are lying on. You will certainly die."
— 2 Kings 1:3–4 (NIV)

See, if we know this God, he should be enough for us. Completely. Absolutely. In that "if I die, I die, if I perish, I perish" kind of way. Not just as a word-of-mouth confession, but in reality. Not just in big issues like life and death, but in the small things too.

If Jesus is truly enough for you, you wouldn’t think that you need to cheat in an exam for him to take you to the highest heights in life.
If Jesus is truly enough for you, you wouldn’t want to cheat or defraud others in the name of being streetwise.
If Jesus is enough for you, you wouldn’t idolize certain people in your life because you think they’ll get you where you ought to be.
If Jesus is truly enough for you, you won’t hate or envy other people’s success—not just because you know yours is coming, but because whether or not it comes now, Jesus is still enough.
If Jesus is truly enough for you, you’ll always find joy, no matter what, because everything you need in this life is him—and is in him.

Jesus should be your first option, your last resort, and your everything.

He should be your greatest dependency. There should be no life outside him. Truly, nothing should be able to separate you from the love he has for you.
Not sickness.
Not hunger.
Not poverty.
Not failure.
Not disappointment.
Not the struggles of life.
Not your wife’s health.
Nothing at all.
(Romans 8:35–39)

Like my pastor says, “If God cannot do it for me, then I don’t want it done.”

There’s this illusion that we can box God somewhere, run around looking for other sources of help, and still succeed.

But how can you box the one who made the entire universe and holds the earth in the palm of his hand?

You can’t.

Let Jesus be enough for you. Let him be your all in all. Because if God won’t do something, then it can never truly be done. And that’s okay—because Jesus himself is enough for you.

He is worthy of your trust. He is worthy of your worship. He is worthy of your everything. And he is enough for you—Olúwàtósìn.

Until next week,

Titilayo.